book #3 untitled

Black ice paints the forlorn roads  Smiles fade as tires slow  Sitting in a bar, alone I have nowhere else to go Poetic words born from rum  Napkin wrapped around old gum  I revere a gentle strum  Unable to see who from  A familiar face across the bar  A smile holds his mouth ajar Beside him shines a golden star  I ask them who and how they are  We drink, we laugh and we talk  The bartender points to the clock  It's time to go, we have lost The right to drive, now we walk

A wave of lust Engulfs my shore Dampens the sand Demanding more A silver spoon May never carry This weight I bare Forever wary An open wound Will heal quicker If a drunken sailor Applies his wicker No match to broom Can make a witch fly No one may ever See her cry This is nonsense Misunderstood I sense you see What no one else could

I'm afraid of new Afraid to begin Afraid I'll never find love again Too scared to try Too scared to fail Scared the one I find may bail

I'll sit in my bed And sip on cheap wine  Some corner store shit  I got for $5.99 I was told not to forget To let myself cry  I was told to feel my feelings  Not let them pass by  The salt from my tears  Turns my face dry  The break in my heart  Can only mend with time

I took a break  My mind is at stake  I'm in a rut My brain feels fucked  Locked down and dry  Is what it feels like  My heart is confused  How can it yearn for you?  Who are you again? Do I know who I am?

He held both leashes  While she used the restroom  He walked them to the peak  She joined them, I assume No faces were shown But I can sense four smiles  I think I want that life  I'll ponder this for a while

(tanka) A lone butterfly Lands on a pile of shit  "It's warm here" she says A soft place to lay her head She's sure she found the best home

When will I stop  Changing my mind? When will I start  Living my life?  How will I know  Which one is right?  Do I want to be alone?  Do I want to be a wife?

 What if  Falling in love  Holds me back  Rather than gives me a shove  What if  All I can write Are happy thoughts That lost their spite  What if  What brings me joy  Bleeds me dry  Like a child with no toy  What if  My misery  Was my best form  Of poetic delivery What if  Happy is boring  Does it drain talent  And leave you mourning?

the walls are sweating the air's getting heavy I reach in & pull out my breath  I roll it in a ball Throw it down the hall Ears heeding the ringtone of death

Not everything  Has to turn into something  Not every word  Has to have meaning  Not every loss  Is always worth grieving  It's horrifying to think  We only get to do this once  Live one little life  What is a life  Worth living  If you can't let go  Move on  And fuel your fire With nothing but a little love  Forgiveness  And pure joy

The warmth from the liquor Pervades my entire chest The spice almost masks  The sharp pain of regret The warmth from my tears Burns a trail down my cheek I knew this was a bad idea  Rum always makes me weak

You are no good for me  But that doesn't mean  That you are no good  I can think you're wonderful  And miss your company  But still hold true  To my undying belief  That we  You and me  Are not meant to be  I shall not confuse  These thoughts of grief  For more than  What they really mean

Make shit happen  Be the bad bitch that you are  Take no action  And the lesson leaves a scar

I check my stupid phone Countless times a day I hope that you're at home Grieving the same way  I miss you from my core But I know I'll be okay  I was okay alone before I'll be okay alone today