joke about it

I talk about it 
Like it was a joke 
But what they did to me 
Is no laughing matter 
No matter if I laugh 
To make myself lighter

He put his hands on me 
Cried like a fucking baby 
And I took him back
What was I thinking? 
What was he drinking?

One was on drugs
I hadn't a single clue
Does he even remember us?
I'm such a fucking fool

The last was the worst 
It always is
He kept me a secret 
Lived two separate lives
With complete dominion 
Over mine 
A serial cheater 
Possessive
With a thirst for control 
Convincing me 
I was insane 
That I'm to blame

Although I guess I kind of am 
Not letting myself heal 
From these catastrophic men 
Throwing myself 
Into trauma after trauma
I talk about it 
Like it's a joke 
When I should be talking about it 
To a goddamn therapist

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